Friday, September 9, 2011

Letters to Oliver

My Sweet Oliver,

Happy 1st Birthday in Heaven, my Baby Boy! It is hard to believe how fast this year has come and gone and how much I still miss you uncontrollably. Although some things have gotten easier with time, I still think about you often and dream about what my life would have been like with you in my arms every day.

You have been so heavy on my heart this year. You have changed the way I think, how I act, the way I treat others. You have brought a new love to me and your Dad that no other person could ever replace. All too often I find myself crying just thinking about you…dreaming about you..and I can’t help but remind myself that we will meet and on that glorious day…all will be right and good and perfect!

It is so amazing to me that you were only present here for 20 weeks, but the impact you had is immeasurable. You never took a breathe, you never let out a roaring cry, you never held my finger…but you were here and I felt your presence… I heard your heart beating and I felt your teeny foot…I loved you with all I had. The day you were born is so vivid in my mind…I hope it never fades. I hope you never fade.

Today, as I celebrate you, I can’t help but cry. I can’t help but long for you, even though I know you are in a place that we all long to be. You are living and perfect…my sweet Angel. Our Grace Baby.

I love you!

Mommy

2 comments:

Lori said...

Tears. That is all I have to say. Oh, and just how sorry I am for your loss.

Mary said...

i know this is such a hard day,it is really inspiring how strong you have been..and how amazing that now one year later little Evan is here to be with you too:)