Thursday, August 28, 2008
HOW MANY SEC STUDENTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
At VANDERBILT: it takes two, one to change the bulb and one more to explain how they did it every bit as good as the bulbs changed at Harvard.
At GEORGIA : it takes two, one to change the bulb and one to stabilize the rolling beer cooler the bulb changer is using for a ladder.
At FLORIDA : it takes four, one to screw in the bulb and three to figure out how to get stoned off the old one.
At ALABAMA : it takes five, one to change it, three to reminisce about how The Bear would have done it, and one to throw the old bulb at an NCAA investigator.
At OLE MISS: it takes six, one to change it, two to mix the drinks and three to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.
At LSU: it takes seven, and each one gets credit for five Semester hours.
At KENTUCKY : it takes eight! One to screw it in and seven to discuss how much brighter it seems to shine during basketball season.
At TENNESSEE : it takes ten, two to figure out how to screw it in, two to buy an orange lampshade, and six to phone a radio call-in show and talk about how much they hate Alabama .
At MISSISSIPPI STATE : it takes fifteen, one to screw in the bulb, two to buy the Skoal, and twelve to yell, 'GO TO HELL, OLE MISS'.
At AUBURN : it takes one hundred, one to change it, forty-nine to talk about how they did it better than at Bama and Georgia, and fifty to get drunk and roll Toomer's Corner when finished.
At SOUTH CAROLINA : it takes 80,000, one to screw it in and 79,999 to discuss how this finally will be the year that they have a decent football team.
At ARKANSAS : None. There is no electricity in Arkansas .
Planning for the college football season in the South is radically different than up North. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints.
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America .
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Herschel Walker & Peyton Manning
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution, and put name on a waiting list for tickets.
Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking. SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting 'Game Day Live' to get on camera and wave to the idiots up north who wonder why 'Game Day Live' is never Broadcast from their campus.
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.
Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask 'Where's the stadium?' When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city.
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.
When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.
The Smell in the Air after the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.
NORTH: 'Nice play.'
SOUTH: 'Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs.'
NORTH: 'My, this certainly is a violent sport.'
SOUTH: 'Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs.'
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.
After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, and planning begins for next week's game.
Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football!
Monday, August 25, 2008
I feel truly blessed to have two amazing sisters that are also my best friends. One thing that we all have in common is how important our family is to us. In the last couple months, each of us have gone through different situations that made us realize how fortunate we are to have such a wonderful and loving family. It is sad that some families just aren't as close, and I know they have their reasons, but it is a wonderful gift that God gives us. I thank him everday for my sisters!
Saturday was supposed to be a relaxing day on the beach, but Fay definitely ruined that. So we relaxed in the condo, went for a beer run and got a ton more food (that is what girls do when they get together....eat...eat...eat) and rented a movie. That night was FIESTA themed. We had layered dip, cheese dip, salsa, and margaritas. We also had a pepper pinata that would not break for anything and we opened gifts. Then we played tons of games that got interrupted every so often by all of us talking too much. So much fun!
Thanks everyone so much for coming. I had a blast!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
I tried to upload the part of the show where they sang...all I want to do....but it was way to large of a file. You will just have to go and see them in concert yourself and I would definitely suggest it!
Here is Jason venturing out into the Jellyfish invested waters to get closer to the race. I, of course, stayed on land. No jellyfish for me!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Next, Zach brought home the sod cutter and cut an area in front of the house for us to make a bed for some grasses and flowers. He also fertilized the grass we already have that needs quite a bit of work, I guess from Neglect...go figure! That week, Zach stained and sealed the porches which they were in desperate need of. We did them in a Cedar stain and they turned out really great!
Then we painted the living room Roasted Coffee (Brown) and the Kitchen something Mark Twain (which is Green).Then, I bought rugs for the kitchen and reorganized EVERYTHING. With all the showers and gift we have been receiving, I had to make room in the kitchen. I LOVE to organize. I get very anxious when things are scattered and a mess. Organization keeps me level headed and sane! Other than those changes, that is all we have done for the interior. On the the outside!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
So, when I moved to Gulf Shores in May, I started working at a furniture store that also incorporated free design assistance to its customers. It just didn't work out. To be honest, I really missed spending time with kids. So, I immediately started looking for a nanny position! And, to my luck, I found a family that works perfectly for me! I didn't think I could get so lucky again, but God has blessed me with The Bott Family. The Bott's adopted Dakota at birth and she is 4 months old. What a sweetheart! I have enjoyed every moment with her and her parents are so wonderful, too! I love getting up everyday knowing that my day is full of something I love to do.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Rainbow Chip is my favorite frosting so here is the end result...not the prettiest cake, but SOO GOOD! Thanks again Uncle Tim. You are the best!
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Crystal, Kaitlin and Ashley
We played Family Feud, which was a lot of fun. We had to grab the kitchen spoon to give our answer.
Holly definitely won this one.
Starting to open gifts.
All of Zach's Aunts bought us our cookware!
And we got ROCKING CHAIRS! This may seem like an unusual gift, but I love it! I have been talking about wanting rocking chairs on our front porch forever and now we have them! They were from The Phillips' and The Cordes'.
My soon to be Mother in Law and Sisters in Law.