Thursday, March 31, 2011

You Just Know!

Have you ever had a moment where you can just feel God's presence right next to you? He is holding your hand, your heart, and totally making His presence known to you! You just KNOW it is HIM making you feel a certain was HIM that made things go a certain way! Have you !?!

I feel as though I am in a very awkward season of life right now. I have never felt so blessed, loved, full before in my life! And at the same time, I have a little emptiness, a longing. It is like I have the best of both worlds all at once...and sometimes they happen all at the same time.

This past Tuesday was the half way mark for 40 Days for Life and the half way point for my wonderful pregnancy with our beautiful Baby #3! Partaking in the 40 Days for Life has been amazing!!!! Setting aside quality time to pray, have a date with God, be by myself, try to do good for others has been life changing! I have met some amazing people through this campaign and have been touched by the stories I have heard all over the country of successes in the 40 Days for Life campaign.

On Tuesday, we had a small rally and prayer service outside the clinic that marked the half way point. Tuesdays are tough days at the clinic because this is the only day during the week that they hand out the abortion pill. To see their parking lot packed every Tuesday just pulls at your makes you pray harder! No...not every person that walks into their doors are getting this specific pill...but prayers are still needed.

As I told you all earlier, I have also have been very emotional because I lost Oliver at our Half Way point. So many emotions came flooding back into by head and heart over the last few days. I miss him! And having lost a child and being part of this campaign, I wonder often if these women ever, even for a second, miss their lost children. I pray for them to miss their children! to ask forgiveness! to show remorse!

The Prayer service that was held was just beautiful! There were about 10, maybe 12 of us present. A small group, but full of so much HOPE! We sang and prayed the Rosary and we focused on the reflection from the 40 Days for Life campaign that is sent to all of us daily. It is so awesome that in a campaign like this...we literally are ONE BODY IN CHRIST! No matter what Faith....we all have come together to serve God's people in some of their hardest times. Everyday an email is sent to all participating in 40 Days for Life providing thoughts to meditate on and pray for and usually a verse from Scripture and a reflection from either a Priest, a Pastor, a Preacher, anyone!

Tuesdays reflection especially touched my heart!

There are certain things that automatically bring my mind straight to My Oliver. I have a necklace that my parents gave me after he passed that I wear every day. Every time I look at it, hold it, turn the chain so that the clasp goes back to the back of my neck, I think of Oliver. Every time I hear the song Amazing Grace...tears flow...without an ounce of effort, sometimes with a smile on my face thinking about how Oliver is TRULY home with our Heavenly Father and sometimes with hurt because I want him here so badly in my arms! Before Oliver passed, I ordered a Baby Be Blessed Doll for him that I so badly wanted to give him. One thing that I love about these dolls is that you can put the child's name and your favorite verse from Scripture on its tummy. I had Oliver's doll be a Lion and the verse I had sewn onto its tummy was this:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations."

Every time I see or hear this verse...Oliver!

So Tuesdays email came with the reflection for the day and what was the verse...Jeremiah 1:4-5! And the feeling started! The feeling of knowing, even in this tough time, God is right there! And so is Oliver. And later that night at the prayer service, we reflected on these beautiful words again

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you!"

We prayed a beautiful Rosary to our Perfect Mother, Mary and all together shared some of our thanksgivings from the last 20 days. Hearing these words pulled at my heart once more...we are making a difference and giving all the Glory to God! As the service was ending, one of the woman suggested we sing Amazing Grace.


I couldn't sing. I was in tears. But I thanked God right then for holding me and my son. For giving me Oliver and for allowing him to touch my life the way he did. And that song never sounded so beautiful.

I want to share the reflection with you now from Tuesday on Jeremiah 1: 4-5. I thought it was beautiful!


by Rev. J. Kirk van der Swaagh

To be or not to be?

There is no question!

The question of "being" is something philosophers have long pondered. What is the meaning of being and what is the source?

In the passage before us, we have our answer. We have being because we are known by God. For God to declare that he knows and sets apart the prophet Jeremiah even before he is conceived indicates that our being rests in God's own being. Because He is and because He wills we, therefore, are and do.

The Apostle Paul says as much when he declares before the philosophers of his day, "In Him we live and move and have our being" (Acts 17:28).

One of the tragedies of the abortion culture is that life in the womb has been so heartbreakingly devalued. To embrace the arguments of the "pro-choice" crowd one must conclude that the child in the womb doesn’t exist, isn't there, has no being. But nothing could be further from the truth.

That child is known by God and, as such, has being.


Lord God, we confess that in You we live and move and have our being. Because You are, we are. May we find grace from You to affirm the being of every human and may we labor to make this truth known to the world around us. Amen.

If you would like to receive these reflections too, let me know. My email is on the sidebar. I know not all would feel comfortable standing outside an abortion clinic...but you can pray in your home...have a date with God...for all those affected by abortion!

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