Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Would you be your own Friend?

Have you ever asked yourself this? The qualities you possess as a friend, as a person…think about them. Maybe list them and take a look…genuinely look at the person you are to others and ask yourself…

Would I be friends with myself?

What makes a good….NO… a great friend? Because, honestly, shouldn’t we all strive to be this person….this great friend. Not for the purpose of acquiring a ton of friends, but to do what is right. To treat others as we want to be treated.
I mean lets be real with ourselves….we expect so much from our friends…and then if the littlest thing happens…we are disappointed. Well, do we have the same expectations for ourselves? I have a feeling we all don’t hold ourselves to the same level we hold others.

I have had some serious heaviness on my heart around this topic for awhile. And I am trying to be completely honest with myself….Am I a great friend….not only to the people who are great to me…but to the people who aren’t as well. And…being honest…I would say no.

In past months, someone I would have called a friend surprised me by her actions and words. To the point that I said…okay this girl and I can’t be friends. I felt weighed down by the drama and gossip. And selfishly, I was going through enough at the time to even put effort into the relationship. So I let her know…we shouldn’t be friends.

And to this day, I regret saying things the way I did. Not that I didn’t mean what I said, but I feel like there could have been a better way of going about it. Unfortunately, I don’t think people realize their actions sometimes. They don’t realize the hurtful things they have said, the judgments they have made because it has become second nature for them. I am guilty as well. I feel like this is what happened. And I ran.

We are called to help one another. We don’t know what others are going through or what kind of day or year they may be having. Instead of being a listening ear or discussing the actions that I didn’t agree with….I ran.

I take pride in my friendships and I must say, I have some pretty, darn amazing friends! But I also need to put energy into the relationships that might weigh me down or the ones that aren’t as easy. Because we are supposed to be there for one another and be Christ like to everyone we meet. Not just the ones that make our lives better or the people that treat us the way we feel we should be treated.

So much prayer has gone into the decision I made a couple months ago…and all I get from it is that it was the wrong move. But, my question to you all is this….

Is it wrong to say goodbye to someone that you just don’t see eye to eye with?


Michelle said...

GREAT post! I've been in a VERY similar situation here recently. I'll call you soon so we can finally meet up for decaf coffee/ice cream...I'd love your opinion on my situation.

And I think you're a FANTASTIC friend. You're the kind of person I want to call my friend. :)

Denise said...

Life is too short and too precious to invest in people that are not good friends to you. When we go through major losses, it changes our perspective on life, changes what is really important to us and makes us realize who our real friends are.

The Ramblings of a Thirtysomething Wife said...

No, I don't think it's wrong at all. Yes, it can be very difficult to end a friendship that was important to you at one time...but that's just it. At one time. I truly believe that some people are brought into our lives for a specific reason and sometimes for only just a short while, while others stay forever. I've had a few friendship come to an end and, while it was difficult at the time, I am now glad. After the fact (sometimes WAY after), you do realize that it was the best decision for you and for your family.

Chris and Brooke said...

This is my first time visiting your blog, and I already know I will be back regularly. Thank you for the thought-provoking post. I will be in prayer over your relationship with this friend. I have struggled (and still struggle) with similar situations.