Clingy!

Naomi and Ruth

....a very interesting story. Not one I could really relate to on the surface...but digging deeper, the message is totally relatable! You have Naomi...MOM....and Ruth...DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. Naomi, her husband and two boys moved to Ruth's hometown. Naomi's son married Ruth and her other son married Orpah. All three men died...leaving three widows. Can you imagine? Naomi decides to move back to Bethlehem, her hometown, because she hears that God has been present there and tells her DILs to go back to their mothers and fathers. Simple right. I totally would. I can't say that I would leave my family, my hometown, my comfy world, to go with my Mother in law. Not happening. Orpah went home...her story is done. Ruth stayed with Naomi, her story continues. In Scripture, it said that Ruth clung to her MIL. Not sure that would ever happen either. But Ruth did.

But Ruth said, 'Do not press me to leave you and to stop going with you, for wherever you go, I shall go, wherever you live, I shall live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.

Ruth clung to Naomi because in Naomi she saw God. Ruth only hoped that good things were to come. And boy was she right! Ruth started to work for a man called Boaz. Eventually Boaz and Ruth married and had a son named Obed....who became the father of Jesse...Jesse the father of David...and if you trace the lineage....Ruth leads straight to Jesus! If Ruth hadn't clung to her mother in law, essentially to God, our salvation history would have been destoryed. If Ruth had let other things deter her from what God wanted...EVERYTHING would be different!

I think Ruth's story has a very important message! What do we cling to that keeps us from living out God's plan in our own lives? What gets in the way of us being God's completely? I had a lot of time to really think about this....What do I cling to...what can I not let go of? What sins in my life keep me from giving myself to God COMPLETELY? The way I see it is this....God is Love...so what keeps me from Loving! Hahah...Where do I start?

What keeps me from loving, as God loves?

Holding onto the past. Fear of hurt, rejection, of giving and not receiving. Not being able to forgive. Over analyzing situations. Allowing lies to affect my behavior. Scared of being vulnerable.

I am a lover, not a fighter...my husband might say differently, but hear me out. Early on, middle of high school, I learned that holding a grudge hurt me more than anyone else. I chose from this point on to not do this. It wasn't worth it. To the friendships that mattered to me, I gave my all...and I continued this through college to now. Yes, I made many mistakes in my friendships along the way...but I swore to myself that I would always be honest and never hold a grudge.

I give my all to my friendships, my relationships. I put my whole heart into those I care about. I set a very high standard for myself in the relationships I hold. I refuse to lie to those I love...honesty is the best policy. If I tell you I will do something, 99% of the time...I will do it! I put my whole heart into my friends...and this can be dangerous.

Because I hold myself to such standards, I also hold others to it. I have expectations out of my relationships. I cling to this. And this is where I get hurt the most! I feel like if I give my all, shouldn't they give theirs? If I am totally honest with them, shouldn't they be totally honest with me? I have given my whole heart, should I get their in return?

And when this doesn't happen, I become discouraged. I listen to lies in my own head. I feel disappointed. I question. See....dangerous.

Whenever I start to feel this way....I always try to remind myself...."Expect Nothing, but Hope for Everything!" I mean I have always heard...give to give, not to receive. But...when these expectations aren't met....all I can feel is hurt...insecure...and I question my love.

This has been my biggest struggle. This is one of my greatest prayers. This is one of my most painful sins. And this is where I question God most...I cling to insecurity instead of trusting in Him.

Once I have been hurt, I stop loving...a little bit of my heart that I gave to that person disappears.

Through much prayer...I have come to the conclusion that what I want for others...isn't always what they want for themselves...that the expectations have to stop in order for me to completely, fully love, without fail, without judgement, without hurt....as God loves each and every one of us.

I want to cling to God, not my expectations, not my insecurities, not my hurts, my wants. Through God, I can completely love...and I know...living this way....I will in turn be completely loved!

What do you cling to, instead of clinging to God?