23 Weeks

How Far Along: 23 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby #3 is 11 inches and over 1 pound in weight...the size of a large mango. Blood vessels in Baby #3's lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that its increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing it for entry into the outside world. Love this part!

Total Weight Gain: +10, down 2 from last week. And I didn't touch the dvd...dang it.

Maternity Clothes: Same old, same old here.

Gender: Same old, same old here, too. I have loved hearing all the names for the new babies of friends and family who are also pregnant. There is so much in a name!

Gender: Tons and tons of movement...all the time. I hope this means I will have a sleepy baby once it arrives...that just wants to rest and relax in my arms!

Sleep: Sleep is getting harder and harder. I HAVE to have a pillow now for y tummy...otherwise I wake up with a terrible pain in my back. This past week, Zoe was sick too...so I had nightly wake up calls from her to rock and be held. As much as I hate interrupted sleep, I love these moments with her because all she wants is her Mommy and nothing beats that.

Symptoms: For the last couple weeks, I have had a horrible pain in my skin. It is like I have a 3rd degree sunburn. It started in my back and moved to the front of my tummy, only on one side. I am thinking in has to do with stretching when I sleep because of the lack of support. Thank goodness it is less painful now. I have never heard of this or experienced it before...very strange to me.

Best Moment of the Week: I can't say that I have one. This week was pretty rough with Zoe being sick. Just a very low key week of trying to get healthy!

Clingy!

Naomi and Ruth

....a very interesting story. Not one I could really relate to on the surface...but digging deeper, the message is totally relatable! You have Naomi...MOM....and Ruth...DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. Naomi, her husband and two boys moved to Ruth's hometown. Naomi's son married Ruth and her other son married Orpah. All three men died...leaving three widows. Can you imagine? Naomi decides to move back to Bethlehem, her hometown, because she hears that God has been present there and tells her DILs to go back to their mothers and fathers. Simple right. I totally would. I can't say that I would leave my family, my hometown, my comfy world, to go with my Mother in law. Not happening. Orpah went home...her story is done. Ruth stayed with Naomi, her story continues. In Scripture, it said that Ruth clung to her MIL. Not sure that would ever happen either. But Ruth did.

But Ruth said, 'Do not press me to leave you and to stop going with you, for wherever you go, I shall go, wherever you live, I shall live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.

Ruth clung to Naomi because in Naomi she saw God. Ruth only hoped that good things were to come. And boy was she right! Ruth started to work for a man called Boaz. Eventually Boaz and Ruth married and had a son named Obed....who became the father of Jesse...Jesse the father of David...and if you trace the lineage....Ruth leads straight to Jesus! If Ruth hadn't clung to her mother in law, essentially to God, our salvation history would have been destoryed. If Ruth had let other things deter her from what God wanted...EVERYTHING would be different!

I think Ruth's story has a very important message! What do we cling to that keeps us from living out God's plan in our own lives? What gets in the way of us being God's completely? I had a lot of time to really think about this....What do I cling to...what can I not let go of? What sins in my life keep me from giving myself to God COMPLETELY? The way I see it is this....God is Love...so what keeps me from Loving! Hahah...Where do I start?

What keeps me from loving, as God loves?

Holding onto the past. Fear of hurt, rejection, of giving and not receiving. Not being able to forgive. Over analyzing situations. Allowing lies to affect my behavior. Scared of being vulnerable.

I am a lover, not a fighter...my husband might say differently, but hear me out. Early on, middle of high school, I learned that holding a grudge hurt me more than anyone else. I chose from this point on to not do this. It wasn't worth it. To the friendships that mattered to me, I gave my all...and I continued this through college to now. Yes, I made many mistakes in my friendships along the way...but I swore to myself that I would always be honest and never hold a grudge.

I give my all to my friendships, my relationships. I put my whole heart into those I care about. I set a very high standard for myself in the relationships I hold. I refuse to lie to those I love...honesty is the best policy. If I tell you I will do something, 99% of the time...I will do it! I put my whole heart into my friends...and this can be dangerous.

Because I hold myself to such standards, I also hold others to it. I have expectations out of my relationships. I cling to this. And this is where I get hurt the most! I feel like if I give my all, shouldn't they give theirs? If I am totally honest with them, shouldn't they be totally honest with me? I have given my whole heart, should I get their in return?

And when this doesn't happen, I become discouraged. I listen to lies in my own head. I feel disappointed. I question. See....dangerous.

Whenever I start to feel this way....I always try to remind myself...."Expect Nothing, but Hope for Everything!" I mean I have always heard...give to give, not to receive. But...when these expectations aren't met....all I can feel is hurt...insecure...and I question my love.

This has been my biggest struggle. This is one of my greatest prayers. This is one of my most painful sins. And this is where I question God most...I cling to insecurity instead of trusting in Him.

Once I have been hurt, I stop loving...a little bit of my heart that I gave to that person disappears.

Through much prayer...I have come to the conclusion that what I want for others...isn't always what they want for themselves...that the expectations have to stop in order for me to completely, fully love, without fail, without judgement, without hurt....as God loves each and every one of us.

I want to cling to God, not my expectations, not my insecurities, not my hurts, my wants. Through God, I can completely love...and I know...living this way....I will in turn be completely loved!

What do you cling to, instead of clinging to God?

Blessed are We Among Women

I am pretty sure that every woman doubts….for whatever reason…doubts in their beauty, their ability to love or to fully be loved, to trust, to accept, to let go…but do we ever recognize in our lives when we doubt God?

This past weekend the Holy Spirit ran through my heart, God grabbed my soul and Jesus came ALIVE! He died for us…but He is now ALIVE in each and every one of us…if we allow Him to be. Do we deny Him this…do we allow Him to be alive in us… or do we place doubts in Him?

“Here I am to worship. Here I am to bow down. Here I am to say that you’re my God. Because your altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me. We are here for YOU!”

I was blessed to spend a weekend with 180 other women…not sure many would call this blessed haha!...but it was BEYOND a blessing! I met women from Canada, Boston, MA, Omaha, NE, Los Angeles, CA, Phoenix, AZ, Tampa, FL. Women that live next door to me in Alpharetta, GA and some as far as Europe. We all came together with the belief that through this weekend, through the blessing of Our God that we would become Blessed Among Women…and I hope that anyone who reads this…realizes this too was our hope for you. That ALL women know that they are Blessed among Women…but only with Jesus!

The theme for the weekend was…wait for it…Blessed are you Among Women… We dove into Scripture and looked deeply into some of the most prominent female characters; Eve, Hannah, Ruth and Naomi, Mary Magdalene, and Mary, Our Mother. WOW…I mean seriously, how can six women who existed thousands of years ago be relatable now?

I want to give you the scripture versus for each of these women’s story because if you are anything like me…I hadn’t read them for myself. I grew up hearing them, I feel like I knew them….but I had no idea!

Eve~ Genesis 2:5-25

Hannah~ 1 Samuel 1-28, 2: 1-21

Ruth and Naomi~ The Book of Ruth

Mary Magdalene~ John 20: 1-18

Mary~Luke 1:25-56

Every woman is the leading lady of her story…have you ever thought about your own story? I know what you are saying…Please…who has time to think about this with laundry, cleaning, baking, cooking…and the list goes on. But really think about it.

What is YOUR story?

Okay, now take your story…all the beautiful details, the tough ones we might write out, the horrible ones that we would definitely write out and ask yourself….Who is writing my story?

In the Story of Eve…well we know what happened right….she ruined it for us ALL! And seriously, for an APPLE. Thanks! But there is so much more. Eve had everything! She had a man who loved her, a beautiful home full of everything that a woman could ever need, she was beautiful! And she allowed a lie to ruin this all. The serpent told her that God was holding out on her! The serpent fed her lies and made her doubt in God…relatable…I think so!

What lies has the serpent fed to you to make you believe you are less than what you were meant to be, what God wants you to be? If only I had this….I would be happy? If only I had a better job…if only I had that car…if only I had her beauty…if only I had a better husband…if only I had a husband…if only I could loss those pounds…if only I could hold my Oliver…I would be happy. The same serpent that tempted Eve is alive and well in each and every one of us; SCREAMING lies to us! And Eve hid and so do we. We are hiding because God will take the apple from us…these ifs that we think will fulfill us. We turn from God because of these lies.

What would you change in your story? Here is the pencil with a BIG eraser. What would you change? Oh my would there be a couple things I would change…I would start with the lies girls told me to hurt me and convince me I was less than what they were in high school and then move on to the complete disrespect of myself in college, telling myself that my actions were making men love me, that birth control was just a pill, that God didn’t see what I was doing, that going to Church wasn’t necessary because God wouldn’t want me there. That my body was all I was. And then God blessed me with Zach…thank you…but lies were there, too. That us living together before our marriage was no big deal. That even though I knew the foundation of our relationship was lies, God didn’t see it. That the choices we made before we took our vows wouldn’t matter because we LOVED each other. And the lies grew a little bit bigger…that my son’s death was my fault, that I did something wrong to cause this in our family. That every other pregnancy would be the same. Lies. (And these are what I feel are lies in my life…no judgment what so ever on anyone else). But the one thing that wasn’t a lie….GOD LOVES ME! God is a forgiving GOD! And he is always fighting for me…for my heart…for my love! And because of this….I would change NOTHING in my story…because every mistake I have ever made…He has shown through…He has held my hand and said I am with you! God gives us conflict to make us the heroine we are supposed to be!

….His story is ALWAYS better!

Give up the pencil. Give up writing your story and allow him to be the Author!

22 Weeks

How Far Along: 22 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby #3 is 11 inches (length of a Spaghetti Squash)and almost 1 pound. Baby #3 is starting to look like a miniature newborn; its lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums.

Total Weight Gain: +12 lbs and this led me to the library to check out a maternity exercise video. YIKES! I must say though that this tummy is just big and maybe my hips too…and my butt. Darn it! I am okay with gaining weight…don’t get me wrong…but when you know the weight isn’t all for the baby…I got a problem! So, I hope my motivation now can last at least into the late third trimester!

Maternity Clothes: I am wearing my one pair of Capri maternity jeans...very helpful now and my dresses! Can still fit into my jeans, but it hurts to button in my tummy when I sit. Still wearing my shirts and tanks…but would rather be in my pjs. And I found my dresses I have been wanting. I want to stay away from specifically maternity dresses because I won’t be able to wear them later…CHARMING CHARLIE will break my bank. Can’t wait to go back next pay check…and the next…and the next to get some of their adorable dresses! That store is too cute!

Gender: Had a CRAZY dream this past week and for the first time…it was a girl in the dream. Crazy vivid…totally freaks me out sometimes. And this dream was no exception. Names are still the same.

Movement: Loving every single kick, punch, flip I feel. What a blessing it is to feel movement! This little one wants its presence to be known….and it isn’t hiding anything! We have a little mover and shaker. The movements have become stronger and turned into waves in my tummy, not just jabs. So cool! Baby #3 likes to make sure I know he/she is there all the time, but mainly in the early morning right when I wake up and get moving and around 10pm.

Sleep: A little tough this week, especially on the retreat…Sleeping on a wooden bed isn’t quite ideal for preggos. But I managed! The weight of my tummy is definitely starting to have more of an affect when I sleep…without a pillow the weight really pulls on my back and I wake up just hurting. Let the mass amount of pillows in our bed begin! Oh and naps are my best friend.

Cravings: No cravings really.

Symptoms: Crazy dreams, bathroom runs, ligament pains, leg cramps, tight tummy, widening hips, pelvic pressure, sore boobs…just to name a few…No big right…A complete transformation of your body where your body is no longer yours is never a big deal.

Best Moment this Week: My hubby felt our Baby #3 last Tuesday. There is something miraculous in your husband finally getting to experience this. And it doesn’t matter how many times…every time is exciting. We were laying in bed and the movements were pretty strong, so I knew Zach would be able to feel them. I love being like…”Did you feel that one?”…."no”…”what about that one?”….”nope”…”Okay there it goes again, did you feel it”….”YES!!!!” Pure Bliss! The best is when Zach is feeling and he goes “I felt that one” and I felt absolutely nothing and we both laugh.

Miscellany Monday

Lots going on...but of course I can't get to the internet today. So we are settling for a phone post....

Blessed are you among women....
1. AMAZING weekend!!!! I attended the Women's Retreat at Covecrest this weekend with 180 other beautiful, God filled women....I can't believe how blessed I was to be able to attend...considering there was a waiting list of about 50! I cannot encourage women enough to take part in something like this...but more on all that this week. I can't wait to share how God moved in my life this weekend...and hopefully you will receive even an ounce of Grace from it!

This girl is crazy.....
2. My Baby Girl, not really a baby at all anymore, is 17 months this month. Her little personality is just glowing and I love every little thing about her. She has become quite the climber! She understands everything we say and she is talking like crazy! Love every new thing we learn about her!

Finally...
3. Our bathroom is painted!!! I took a nap before leaving for the retreat and Zach surprised me with finishing the last painting of the bathroom! Love him!!! So now we just have to touch up some rough spots, clean and I will post some pictures!! Love the color!

Growing....
4. I am now 22 weeks (preggo post tomorrow) and I am getting huge. I can totally feel it is my hips this go around and my tummy is quite big early on. So...I headed to the library today and got a Preggo Exercise DVD. I hope I like it! Plus I need to keep my legs stregthened for my Half Marathon in November!

Almost There....
5. Easter is almost here!!! I am just so ecstatic for the celebration of the Resurrection of Our Lord and to welcome Zach into the Catholic Church. It is going to be such a blessed day...one I will never forget!

21 Weeks

How Far Along: 21 Weeks

Size of Baby: Baby #3 weighs about 3/4 a pound and is the length of a carrot, about 10 1/2 inches long.

Total Weight Gain: Still at 7 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: My pants are really starting to hurt when I sit...so lately I am sticking to work out pants as much as I can. I really don't want to buy maternity jeans because I know I won't wear them this summer. So I have done the rubber band trick to keep the pants together....ridiculous. I know.

Gender: Still really feeling Boy. I told Zach that we are not changing the names anymore! No matter what! I LOVE both names SOOOOO much! I can't wait to see who will be joining our family and of course, to call them by their name!

Movement: Tons of movement from this little one. It has started to a certain times every day. The baby always kicks after I eat and at night. The baby right now is very low which is great because I can still breathe!

Sleep: Great sleep! Zoe has been sleeping in later and later. Amazing! Saturday, she slept until 9:30. Thank you, Zoe! I have so much more energy getting great sleep, even on the nights I work until 2am.

Cravings: I have been loving Butterfinger Crisps. Not sure why...but every time I see them, I want it! My weekly Chipotle was amazing, as always!

Symptoms: I am running to the bathroom more as the baby gets bigger...and I am trying to drink more water which doesn't help. Still very vivid dreams. My tummy is getting bigger and tighter. Other than that...everything is pretty low key.

Best Moment of the Week: This doesn't really have to do with Baby. This week we paid off my car!!!! Our goal was to have it paid off by August...and we did it, with 4 months to spare. We are one step closer to being debt free and it feels so good. Having less debt is going to be so nice once our Baby #3 does arrive though. Money can bring so much stress to the home and having as little stress as possible is going to be great! We have loved living credit card free and within our means! There is so little stress living this way!

And I found Zoe's bedding for her Big Girl Room. Of course, I search and search, but I always end up at the same place....Pottery Barn. It never fails. I hope in the next couple weeks I will be able to head to a Pottery Barn Kids and pick up her comforters and curtains...then paint...then accessorize and I will be able to show off the final product! But looking at our progress on the bathroom, still no paint, this could be a longer process than I would hope. And our bedroom is a whole other story....I am not sure we will ever have a "grown up" bedroom!

Pizza Party!

During Lent, meat is something we don't eat on Fridays. Great excuse for a pizza party!

I just love when all our friends get together to relax and chat and spend time with one another. Every time Zach and I leave one of our little get togethers, we both just can't believe how blessed we are to have such great friends!

Our little Pizza Party was potluck style. Katie had the pizzas, I brought homemade bruschetta and appetizers, Michelle brought salad, Lauren the wine and her awesome Key Lime Pie cheese ball and Danielle the YUMMY dessert! And everything was AWESOME! I ate so much...I swear I have now doubled my weight gain. Totally worth it.

I always forget to take pictures when we all meet! Not today....I did forget until the very last second though so Lauren missed the picture :(....Next Time! Michelle is due with Ms. Brooke next Saturday! And Danielle is due with Gianna on April 26th! Two more little girls to add to the mix. Please keep them in your prayers for safe deliveries and healthy babies!