Day 5: Love is not Rude

He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.---Proverbs 27:14

Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. As always, love has something to say about this. When a man is driven by love, he intentionally behaves in a way that's more pleasant for his wife to be around. If she desires to love him, she purposefully avoids things that frustrate him or cause him discomfort.

The bottom line is that genuine love minds its manners. When you have good manners, you say to your husband or wife, "I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who's a pleasure to be with." When you allow love to change your behavior---even in the smallest ways---you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship.

There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness. Neither, or course, is a good thing. Test yourself with these questions:

How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?

How does your behavior affect your mate's sense of worth or self-esteem?

Would your husband or wife say you're a blessing, or that you're condescending and embarrassing?

If you're thinking that your spouse---not you---is the one who needs work in this area, you're likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness. Remember, love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard.

Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you dare to be delightful?

Here are 3 guiding principles when it comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:

1. Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated.

2. No Double Standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.

3. Honor Requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not do. If in doubt, then ask.

Today's Dare

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

***So I asked Zach yesterday what I could do for him...if he needed anything. I got a "....ummmm.......no???" Which made me laugh, but made me realize that I really don't ask this enough. It is such an easy thing to ask, so why don't we do it more? Oh yea...it is because we think more about ourselves. I am going to try to make a point to ask this question more and then hopefully it will become a habit.